SOooOOooooOo I'm missing a certain someone right now. She's went away on vacation for a week and its only been two days lol. I love it when she smiles, but lately we have been busy working towards our dreams, so I have seen her smile less and less. I want to see her smile more. I want to take more pictures so we can look back on all our good times.
This will be the longest time we’ve been apart in at LEAST 4 years if not more. T_T You know…I recently realized how lonely one feels when by themselves! I have been very lucky because I rarely feel lonely, but it was only because she was always there for me. And sometimes, no…MOST OF THE TIME, it is easy to forget how important a person is to you…only when they are gone do we feel the immense emptiness that they filled when they were around.
So this is to you, so you know how much I appreciate you, for being YOU…Firstly, you KNOW how hard it is for me when it comes to this stuff, but I feel that you have been wrongly deprived all these years. I may not reveal much emotion during our conversations, which makes you angry, but rest assured that my feelings are well kept, only so it is safe to never fly away. Maybe at least once in our relationship…maybe once I should let it out so you know how much you mean to me?
Ever since we met 8.5 years ago, during that first day of highschool…during 2nd period English class, when I sat down at your table, I noticed a beautiful girl sitting there. And I know you are denying as we speak, but deny all you want, but I assure you…to me…you were (and still are) the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. And because I was shy, and filled with teenage pride, I never let you know that I secretly admired you. Remember when I brought peanut butter/bread and a peach cup to English class? The peach juice spilled all over my red Hawaiian shirt, and I took it off in class to wipe the juice. Ms. Clark said, “Duc! What are you doing!!??” LOL!! You know how I have horrible memory, but for sure I will never forget this, and I know you won’t neither! Are you smiling yet? Remember during highschool Chemistry when Mr. Fryman got mad at me because he thought I skipped Silent Reading? When I got back near the end of Silent Reading, and everything was…silent…he said to me, “Duc! Where have you been!?!” And I said in front of the whole class, “Umm…number 2?” LOL. How embarrassing. You gotta be smiling now. =D
So…we became good friends and high school went on. I got my share of girlfriends and you had your share of boyfriends. Still though, I had always liked you silently inside, afraid to confess my feelings to you. You had no clue I liked you! I had no clue also. All four years, we denied our feelings. During high school, people told me I looked sad all the time, but did you know many times it was because of you. We would hang out as friends and have a blast one day, and the next day you were talking with your boyfriend. It wasn’t your fault, but I am glad I felt that way, because that shows how much I really cared about you. At the time you were in a fairly long relationship, but I waited…always waiting…ready to be there when you needed me. I remember I also prayed to God during church for you to like me. Pitiful? I think so…lol Remember all the times I picked you up and dropped you off? Or when I drove you to SF because no one could go with you when you had to dance for cheer? Remember the late night AIM conversations on the computer? I remember I always got happy when I saw you logged on…lilticklishpnay…mi55behav1n. Those two were my favorites. We always cussed each other out, competing to see who was better in every little thing we discussed. Funny though, our hateful conversations lasted for HOURS…and my dad sure gave it to me many times because he was FOB back then and didn’t understand how a person could chat so much on a computer lol. But I was always mean to you, calling you names and such, picking on you at school. I couldn’t treat you how I treated my other friend, or else you would be JUST a regular friend. I wanted more from you. Sorry I treated you mean back then! I know you didn’t mind it anyways. =D
Senior year rolled by. Senior Winterball. We skipped class and I helped you pick out your silver dress at Southland. One of our first dates? I think so! =D =D Skipping catholic school to shop for your Winterball dress, I think God will punish us later lol. I remember you had no date. And I also had no date. But I helped you pick out your dress. But after I still didn’t ask you to be my date. See how terrified I was!! And remember the last dance? How I held out my hands to you, to motion for my request of a dance with you? I didn’t even verbally speak, but you understood what I meant and agreed to dance with me. =D But there went my pride down the drain. That was one of the first times I gave you a little of me.
“If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
And you'd be my wife, make it right this time”
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
And you'd be my wife, make it right this time”
I swear at the time this song fit so perfectly lol. Doesn’t it though?…except maybe for the running away and baby part. ^_^
I remember how you asked me to Sadies Hawkins during senior year too. You baked cookies for me, and wrote on each one. Gave it to me during lunch while I was sitting down with my guy friends. And I didn’t even say anything when you put it on the table, or even looked at you much. LOL I am so sorry! I think I was still prideful after Winterball. You should have given it to me not it was in front of the guys! >_<
So I guess we both agree that I was prideful towards you back then. Never giving you any, not one, hint that I even liked you. Always the person giving you a hard time. But hey, look at who made the first move on you. (Insert smirk). I may have sucked all the other times as a living male species, but at least I stepped up to the one thing that mattered. In the car, I kissed you once. No good, no response. “Too soft. Shit, I don’t think she felt that” was running through my head. I kissed you twice. I would have seriously died from embarrassment if you opened your eyes and were like, WTF? And I am sure looking back you wish you would’ve done that. But good thing you didn’t. ^_^
Ever since we have been together 4.5 years ago, there has been nothing we could not accomplish together. You are one of, if not, the most important pieces in my life, and I h.o.n.e.s.t.l.y. do not know what I can accomplish without you. Ever since highschool, you have believed in me, pushed me, motivated me, and molded me into the person I am today. I am...me…because of…you…I miss you. Saranghae.
Your bestestestest friend in the whole wide world,
Duck
